He does not want to engage with me yet I see he is attached! The behaviors of men are sometimes full of surprises. So, you feel that he is not indifferent but when it comes to investing, it's another story. Sometimes it's even worse, it takes a step forward and you think it can change but the next day it takes two steps back ... You really feel that it does not want to invest and it frustrates you because of your side everything is perfectly clear.
I realize that it disturbs you because you find in the behavior of this man who attracts you positive signals. For example, I'm sure that when you walk away a little longer than usual, it tends to send you messages, to hear from you, or even to be jealous or to say soft words to you. This clearly shows that you are not dreaming, he is attached to you!
It is therefore possible to make him jump, but for that, it will first have to understand the origin of its blockages and then carry out targeted actions to lift them one by one.
As you may have noticed, the issue of male engagement is a subject that I regularly discuss on my site or on my YouTube channel which has more than 200,000 subscribers. And in this article I wanted to reveal the keys when you find yourself in front of a man undecided. If you want to go further, and know everything about how men think, I direct you to my training : The keys to decode male psychology and all men understand !
Why do not men want to engage?
"Alex, he does not want to get involved and I'm exhausted from this situation, how do I get out?" This is the type of message I receive almost daily. Even if each situation is unique and specific, there are behaviors to adopt that can push a man who is afraid to commit to go further.
For this, we must succeed in understanding his attitude, while adopting the right behavior and especially by giving him the desire to really invest. So you will have to target what is holding him back so you can unlock the situation.
And often, when a woman says he does not want to engage, it is for one of the 4 reasons that I present to you below.
He does not want to engage for fear of suffering
Some men keep scars of their previous relationshipsand often it lasts for years. And the more they have a solitary behavior or that one thinks them very psychologically, the more they are marked.
Whether it's a previous break-up or a story that ended badly, a woman who hurt her or a seduction phase that has not worked out, each man has a past that plays on his present behavior.
Very often, when we say to myself my boyfriend does not want to get involved, it's because there is a fear of failure in love and therefore to suffer or to suffer. That's why there are hesitations in his attitudes, one day is white and the next is black.
Why does not he want to engage? Because he does not want to lose his freedom!
Why is he afraid to engage? Well simply because he is afraid of losing his freedom. ha the guys and their autonomy ! That's argument number 1 🙂
The fear of losing his freedom means that he does not want you to tell him about his outings, his associates and what he wants to do.
Even if we must recognize that many women are in control and do not like to see their darling come out on weekends with his friends, in the minds of men, it is often exaggerated.
Especially since you too have a life and want to keep your autonomy. So make him understand it!
He does not want to live with me because he is afraid of commitment
The other reason that comes up often when man does not seem to make commitment a priority, is simply the fear of commitment. We hear a lot about this fear and yet few people really know what it is.
The afraid to commit does not mean that a man does not want to have a more tidy or framed life. In reality, the fear of commitment is often synonymous with fear of being acquired.
And whoever says acquired man says loss of attraction in the woman we love.
Thus, some men who do not want to engage fear that one formalizes the things their companion dominates or loses his feelings. Afterwards, if he clearly tells you that he does not want a serious relationship at the moment, it's something else ...
He does not want a serious relationship because he is not sure that I am good!
Finally, the last reason when you think your boyfriend is afraid to engage or he does not want a relationship, is the least cheerful.Indeed, I consider it to be the most complex blockage to lift because the man in question leaves with a priori.
When he does not want to get involved, it is sometimes because he says to himself that you do not agree with him or that you will not agree with him in the future. There can be a lot of reasons for this, justified or not.
And even if he enjoy spending time with you, or have a good time because most of the time in this context you are sexfriend or even plan of a night, it is possible that it does not really project with you.
All is not lost because you can still act to show him that he is wrong about you. And for that, you will discover the 3 attitudes that make a man accept to engage durably and especially thathe is ready to invest himself!
He does not want to commit, here is the ultimate technique to change his mind!
Do you want to be part of the "femme fatales", the women who come to conquer the heart of a man they have chosen? For this, there is a technique that works every time! It's about flee me I'm you or taking distance. Basically you go have less to invest and become a little cooler in your interactions.
So I imagine what you think by reading these words! You're going to say "But Alex, I do not want to play a role!" Believe me, it's ABSOLUTELY NOT what I want you for you ... Because what matters to me most is your happiness.
So you're wondering where I'm coming from? It is very simple.
Today, you tend to analyze each man's fact and gesture while dedicating time and energy to it.
Now, I want you accept the idea that without him you will have a totally fulfilled life and that it does not make you happy! You will have to innovate in your outings, your activities, your hobbies to create something new.
We will use this energy to better support the period of distance and for each contact it feels how much you bloom!
By adopting this behavior over time, you will gradually detach yourself from the couple and thus force them to think much more than before! This is in my opinion the best way to push a man to act even when he does not want to engage.
And in addition, you will show him that you are autonomous and you will reassure him indirectly about his fear of losing his freedom. So this is really the flagship technique to use!
He loves me but does not want to engage? The trick of daily happiness!
What to do when a man does not want to engage ? Once again, it was my experience as a field coach that made me open my eyes to certain negative attitudes. The majority of the women I coach did not realize that they behaved badly in the presence of the man they coveted.
And that's normal! They were so frustrated to the idea of saying that they deserved more happiness and that there was no reason for the man not to promise that it was reflected on their attitude.
A little less than a smile, uncomfortable reflections, a disappointed face and even a little more slackened shoulders ... They were simply discouraged. And there is nothing that makes you less attractive.
As a result, this attitude takes us a little further a man who doubts.
To remedy this, I asked these women that I accompany always to show a positive energy because a man will be attracted by the additional happiness that you can bring him.
If he feels that you have something unique in you, then I can guarantee that little by little he will commit himself to your side.
It is often said that happiness is communicative and I invite you to bring out your personality. A man reacts very often in a primary way and that he comes to engage with you is that he must absolutely say to himself "that's what I need This is why I will ask you never to put it on a pedestal and always keep control of your emotions so that your happiness always shows!
He does not want to engage in a romantic relationship? Change attitude!
The third method I advocate is more radical. It is to be used with indecisive men or when you give a lot of love and attention but there is no return.
If you feel that nothing has worked despite the fact that you have done a lot then I invite you to offer nothing!
Yes you read it well, there is a method based on inaction that brings extraordinary results. According to the book I often quote "Influences and manipulations" by Robert Cialdini, famous American psychologist, the man must feel the need to conquer his companion. And sometimes they adopt incomprehensible behaviors. I have already been told he does not want to commit but is jealous!
In other words, the nicer you are and the less he will commit ...
But you know what kills me the most? Few people think of inaction as an action. And yet it is a formidable efficiency.
We often think of Walt Disney or Hollywood as a reference of love and yet, I can guarantee you that doing nothing at all, can do you good and make sure that the man you appreciate becomes more involved in the relationship.
You now know what you have to do but I still have a VERY important thing to say to you
He does not want to commit I leave him! Especially do not make this mistake ...
What I wanted to say to you will not please your girlfriends! Often when things are not right with a man, the first tips that come in are: he does not deserve you, you waste your time and if he does not want to go further then threatens him to leave him !
The famous sentence that kills: either you engage with me or we leave ...
I often explain it so I will repeat myself, but the ultimatums facing this type of behavior will not change the situation. On the contrary, it only makes things worse.
If you are unhappy then leave the for real, but no need to do this type of threat hoping for a change. So yes, sometimes it's productive for 1 or 2 weeks, but in the long run you'll have nothing to gain because it's the beginning of a permanent balance of power.
Which will make you suffer even more.
Never let the fear of losing him take control of your behavior. Because otherwise you risk doing nothing but hanging on to him and continuing to suffer.
Now you have to apply the advice because it is not enough to know them to obtain results. And if you want to know how to push a man to engage and make him addicted, I point you to my book "The secrets to attract a man and push him to engage".
I count on you to put a like and to leave me your opinion in the comments, I take a great pleasure to answer you.
I sincerely wish you the best and I'll see you soon.